Lingbogol Prophet Friday
1 APRIL 2022 EVENING EDITION
We bring to you exclusive news of an unusual event unfolding at Lingbogol involving a group of girls aged 9+
INVASION OF GIRLS
What was previously just a patch of bare grass surrounded by bushland at the northern end of the property known as the Lingbogol Girl Guide campsite is now some form of mass gathering.
The normally peaceful and tranquil Girl Guide camp site in Creswick, Victoria has been overrun with visitors from nearby towns
Towards the late afternoon, muggle vehicles began arriving and hastily leaving behind their female family members. They are equipped with tents, sleeping bags and something called a dilly bag.
They look like they are here to stay although at this stage their intentions are unknown. There are many happy, smiling faces but we cannot yet conclude if they are here for fun or mayhem and mischief.
This situation warrants further investigation.
The Lingbogol Prophet is first to announce that an individual known throughout the area simply as "Sarah", has claimed responsibility for the cohort of campers at Lingbogol.
Sarah seems to be in charge of a group of adult females who have secretly been meeting via audio-visual methods to organise what appears to be traditional muggle camping. Outdoors. In tents. In Ballarat.
The campers are apparently onsite voluntarily so no further action can be taken. We will however be keeping a close eye on the situation to see what evolves over the weekend.
Nobody thought to tame the unpredictable Ballarat weather and although last weekend was quite hot and sunny, we cannot say the same for what lies ahead.
Will these campers brave the wet weather or will they retreat to dryer accommodation options?
Time will tell.
"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."
- Albus Dumbledore
Research reveals that what is being referred to as a dilly bag is used primarily for the purpose of storing equipment routinely used for eating. Specifically, plastic plates and bowls, cups and cutlery.
Many of the dilly bags are home-made. No magic involved. Just cloth, cotton and a sewing machine. Some are hand decorated for identification and to portray individuality. A draw string is embedded along the top of the bag for ease of carrying and hanging.
Now we've seen it all.
In what seems to be an almost useless concept, the tents that are being used for sleeping purposes are static in size.
Walking through the zippered entrance reveals that the inside of the tent is actually the same size as it appears from the outside.
Campers are expected to stow luggage and layout bedding in a very confined space. There are no options for extra rooms other that what is already pre-defined by the material from which they are constructed.
How truly primitive.
"You can laugh, but people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"
- Luna Lovegood
Readers will be surprised at what actually counts as food at this gathering. There appears to be no civilised form of catering and participants have bought their own food to save from starvation.
There seems to be an odd collection of items that include a salad roll, chocolate milk, cheese and chive pastries, sandwich, wrap, salami, biscuit and cheese snack pack.
It seems that the Duro defensive spell has been used on this eukaryotic organism, although we cannot imagine why.
We are left pondering:
- what did this fungus do that initiated such an action
- why is this toadstool disproportionally larger than others in the area
- what would be the purpose of a single, solidified fungus in the middle of a grassy patch
If you have any ideas, please enlighten us.
Lingbogol Guide Camp
After several hours of interviewing muggles present at this venue, we can now confirm that the Lingbogol Guide Camp is a bushland site commonly utilised for the gathering of Girl Guides for a variety of different purposes.
Girls are regularly spotted enjoying outdoor activities and either camping outdoors in tents or indoors in bunks.
No house elves have been seen but there is a fully equipped kitchen for self catering. In fact, the youth members often enjoy helping with the preparation of their own meals. Amazing. I dare say these young people are being prepared with life skills.
Lingbogol has been used in this way since before 1953. It's name honours the volunteer Leader and Region Commissioner who was largely responsible for its existence, Lillian Ling.